I consider myself a normal girl. Relatively easy to get along with, typical girly interests, etc.
Despite this, I have a lot of headstones in my friend graveyard. We all have one. Ghosts of friends past. People that used to be in our lives but are no longer, for various reasons.
I have always had guy friends. Basically because if nothing else is true, guys are just easier to get along with. Girls are bitches. They are complicated, catty, backstabbing, and often exhibit other personality traits that the majority of guys just don’t posess. And no, it’s not a jealousy thing. I have girl friends that I consider more attractive/smarter/a better writer, etc. than myself and we have no problems getting along.
I have had two best friends in my life stop being my friend because they didn’t like my boyfriend. One from college and one more recently. I have friends whose boyfriend/husband I can’t stand…but you are not friends with the husband, you are friends with the FRIEND, right?
I have lost a friend because she had a baby and when I told her that I didn’t want to have kids (and subsequently neglected to ask her how her baby was during a conversation solely dominated by her bitching about her father’s marriage to the woman he left her mother for), she accused me of “slapping her in the face” and defriended me on facebook.
I have lost friends because in dating my college boyfriend (the fuzz) I basically became someone I really wasn’t to make him happy and totally wrapped my life around him and his friends. When we broke up, those friends became just his instead of ours.
Other friends I have just drifted with over time as our lives changed, our locations changed, or our interests and commonalities spread us apart. I have also had short-term friendships from various social mediums (craigslist, meetup, etc) that just did not last because clearly there was a REASON a lot of those girls were seeking friends electronically and it’s because they were CRAZY. Some day soon I will have my friend Kristen (an actual normal friend that resulted from craigslist, though she is the minority) write down the story of our crazy friend Rachel whose ex showed up at her house with a baseball bat and duct tape and she still went back to him. Or the girl I was briefly friends with who used me as an alibi while she was repeatedly cheating on her wonderful husband.
I am jealous of people who have the same tight knit group of friends they’ve had since elementary school. There is a lack of people in my life who have known me since way back when and that makes me sad.
Sometimes I wonder if I am the common thread in all of these relationships. Perhaps the problem is me. Maybe I”m the one who is the bitch that no one can seem to get along with. I know that I can be difficult at times, lacking in patience and sometimes empathy…and I can be a little self-involved. Perhaps I don’t put enough effort into my friendships and that is what is causing my friend graveyard to overflow.
But then I come to my senses and realize that there have been times that I have let a friendship go for one reason or another, but deservedly so. And the girls who stopped being friends with me, they missed out because I am one hell of a good friend.
I want to know though, why is it so hard to find good friends? The friends who will stick by you through thick and thin and be there for you no matter what? The kind of friends you can tell anything to and they won’t judge you? The friend who will give you good advice when you feel like your life is spinning out of control?
Tell me I’m not alone ladies. Am I the only one who finds it hard to be friends with other girls?