Good evening friends.

Perhaps you have noticed that I have been posting less and less frequently lately.

The time has come.

The Cookie Battle has run it’s course. As much as I love the blogging community, blogging has become more of a chore for me than a pleasure, and I get the feeling a lot of the time that writing/reading/thinking/photographing food so much leads me to have more issues with food and weight than I would otherwise. Plus I’m just tired of talking about food and my weight all the time.

I will not say that I will never blog again, but if I do, it won’t be as The Cookie Battle.

I am so thankful for all the friends I have made as a result of this little piece of the internet that I know will last long after my blog is forgotten.

Thank you everybody for sticking with me and for reading my random thoughts.

TCB out!

In case you missed it, here is Part One.

When we left off, I was expecting a very expensive surgery to save the life of my little kitty. When I had last spoken to the hospital administrator, she informed me that due to scheduling that they would be doing the ultrasound around midday and would call me as soon as it was finished.

Noon came and went. 1pm came and went. 2pm came and went. Finally around 2:45, the phone rang.

The ultrasound showed that Mica did in fact, have foreign material in her intestine. But the good news was that in comparison with the xray taken on monday night, that the material appeared to be moving through on it’s own, albeit slowly. It was not blocking her intestine and she did not seem uncomfortable. The vet wanted to keep her one more night (to the tune of an additional $200) and hopefully she would pass the material on her own overnight, or at least move it far enough down that they could remove it manually.

The vet said I could come visit her if I wanted, to which I replied of course! I knew it was going to be tough seeing my baby in a cage, but I wanted her to know that I didn’t abandon her and that she was going to be alright and coming home soon. My little patient:

I reluctantly left after a few hours with her and promised I would be back in the morning to take her home, hopefully for good. I left the vet sad, but hopeful that it would all be over soon, she would feel better, and I would be able to bring her home.

This morning, I went and picked her up at the vet. They gave her some anti-nausea medication to keep her from vomitting and hopefully hold off dehydration so she could expel whatever was in her intestine. I was advised to watch her for the next 24 hours and if she still hadn’t expelled at that point, to bring her back in for surgery.

I no sooner got her home when she started vomitting again. At this point I was completely panicked and knew that I had to do something, she couldn’t keep going like this.

I called around to a bunch of different vets to see if anyone could do the surgery for less than the emergency center had quoted me. Finally I found one close to my house that would do the surgery for $2500, but their surgeon was only on site until 1pm so I had to make the decision to bring her in right then. My friend Beth told me to go with my gut so that’s what I did…I threw my sneakers on and put a very unhappy kitty back into her crate and headed off to surgery.

After several hours of waiting to see if she was alright and see what the hell she had swallowed, the doctor finally called me.

The obstruction was actually fecal matter in a U shape that had hooked around her appendix (not actually called her appendix, but it’s the kitty version of the appendix) and was dangling into her colon, which was what was causing the vomitting. The doctor also took small biopsies of her colon, stomach, and intestine just in case the vomitting didn’t stop and tests could be run to see if she had the kitty equivalent of irritable bowel syndrome.

In the meantime, she is spending the night at the vet’s on an IV drip and recovering.

Total cost of saving the life of my cat: $4600

Total value of still having my cat: Priceless.

Final updates to come later on Thank you all for your support and reading my less than appetizing story of my cats bowel movements and vomitting.

Maybe you’ve been wondering where I’ve been. Maybe you didn’t care. Maybe you didn’t even notice. Either way, I’m here today to tell the story of how I almost lost the love of my life (and apologize for the cheesiness of my post title).

I’m not talking about a boy here. I am talking about a cat.

Specifically, this cat:

I have had her and her sister since they were babies. They are 4 years old now and prior to this past weekend, I have never had any medical issues with either of them.

Then Sunday morning, I woke up to two piles of vomit in the bathroom. At first I assumed it was Bailey, because she swallows things she shouldn’t pretty much constantly and always manages to get them out one way or another.

Then I noticed Mica acting sluggish and aloof from me (something she NEVER is, she is usually in my face 24/7). A few times that day, I saw her head to the bathroom to throw up. I don’t understand why she chose the bathroom as her spot to vomit, but I can’t complain because my bathroom is tile and honestly the best place for her to vomit if she has to in terms of clean up.

At first I wasn’t worried because cats throwing up is pretty common, with hairballs and so on…but then on Monday morning I noticed about five more piles of vomit in the bathroom and officially panicked. I went to work for a half day for an important meeting I couldn’t skip, and then rushed right home to take Mica to the kitty emergency room (she doesn’t have a regular vet in the area, I have moved a bunch of times and haven’t gotten her a new one as of yet).

We got in right away, she had her vitals taken and an exam done. The doctor suggested an x-ray to make sure she didn’t have any obstructions that would cause her to try to vomit them up. The x-ray revealed that she actually did have 3 fecal obstructions. The doctor removed two of them manually (try not to picture that), but the third was too deep for her to get out manually. Mica was given fluids to combat dehydration as well as a few other medicines to calm her nausea. $429 later, we were discharged with instructions to withhold food and water for the night and try to feed her a little wet food in the morning in hopes that she would pass that third obstruction on her own.

I took Mica to bed with me at 9:30, by 1am she was up vomitting again. In the morning, I tried to feed her and give her water and she wouldn’t eat or drink.

I went to work for a few hours again and came back at 1o:30 to bring her back to the kitty emergency room.

There was a different doctor on call and she started saying all these kinds of scary sounding things like “cancer” and “liver disease.” She wanted to run a slew of tests on my poor little baby including bloodwork, an ultrasound, a urinalysis, etc. The doctor went and drew up an estimate. The estimate was for $1800-$2600 for all the tests and to keep her overnight to keep her on an IV drip since she was so dehydrated from the vomitting.

After several rounds with the doctor about how I couldn’t afford all of that and more than a few tears shed, we finally agreed to a total of $1000 to keep Mica overnight on the IV drip and to do bloodwork. Reluctantly I left her at the vet’s office, freaking out about leaving her there and for the impending medical bills. All I could think about was her being scared and alone in a cage while strangers poked and prodded her.

At 10pm, the vet called again to say that Mica had not improved any and that an ultrasound would be needed, which was an additional $500. At this point I was tapped out. I had no funds left and could not afford another $500. I asked about payment plans and any other options I could consider. The response was that my only option was to wait until the morning to speak with the hospital administrator to see if there was any alternative.

Fast forward to this morning. The hospital administrator graciously agreed to perform the ultrasound with the understanding that I would pay for it when I picked Mica up from the hospital. However, if the ultrasound revealed that she had foreign material in her stomach like they expected, she would require surgery. Surgery would be an additional $3000 to $4000.

In case you aren’t paying very close attention, that would be a total of $6100 to save my cat’s life. As if I have that kind of money sitting in my back pocket.

The hospital administrator advised that I could attempt to find a local vet that would do the surgery at a decreased cost. Otherwise, if I could not afford the surgery, Mica would have to be euthanized.

People that do not have pets or are not pet people really do not understand the bond pet people have with their pets. For me, especially with Mica, it was love at first sight. She was the one I picked right off the bat in a litter of kittens. From the moment I brought her home she was my baby, following me everywhere and constantly begging to be petted and held. Even now, after four years of togetherness, she still follows me around constantly begging to be picked up and loved. And I love her. Quite possibly more than I have ever loved any other animal. Not finding the money for the surgery to keep her alive was not an option for me. No matter what, if I had to sell a kidney, I would find a way to pay for her surgery.

To Be Continued…

I consider myself a normal girl. Relatively easy to get along with, typical girly interests, etc.

Despite this, I have a lot of headstones in my friend graveyard. We all have one. Ghosts of friends past. People that used to be in our lives but are no longer, for various reasons.

I have always had guy friends. Basically because if nothing else is true, guys are just easier to get along with. Girls are bitches. They are complicated, catty, backstabbing, and often exhibit other personality traits that the majority of guys just don’t posess. And no, it’s not a jealousy thing. I have girl friends that I consider more attractive/smarter/a better writer, etc.  than myself and we have no problems getting along.

I have had two best friends in my life stop being my friend because they didn’t like my boyfriend. One from college and one more recently. I have friends whose boyfriend/husband I can’t stand…but you are not friends with the husband, you are friends with the FRIEND, right?

I have lost a friend because she had a baby and when I told her that I didn’t want to have kids (and subsequently neglected to ask her how her baby was during a conversation solely dominated by her bitching about her father’s marriage to the woman he left her mother for), she accused me of “slapping her in the face” and defriended me on facebook.

I have lost friends because in dating my college boyfriend (the fuzz) I basically became someone I really wasn’t to make him happy and totally wrapped my life around him and his friends. When we broke up, those friends became just his instead of ours.

Other friends I have just drifted with over time as our lives changed, our locations changed, or our interests and commonalities spread us apart. I have also had short-term friendships from various social mediums (craigslist, meetup, etc) that just did not last because clearly there was a REASON a lot of those girls were seeking friends electronically and it’s because they were CRAZY. Some day soon I will have my friend Kristen (an actual normal friend that resulted from craigslist, though she is the minority) write down the story of our crazy friend Rachel whose ex showed up at her house with a baseball bat and duct tape and she still went back to him. Or the girl I was briefly friends with who used me as an alibi while she was repeatedly cheating on her wonderful husband.

I am jealous of people who have the same tight knit group of friends they’ve had since elementary school. There is a lack of people in my life who have known me since way back when and that makes me sad.

Sometimes I wonder if I am the common thread in all of these relationships. Perhaps the problem is me. Maybe I”m the one who is the bitch that no one can seem to get along with. I know that I can be difficult at times, lacking in patience and sometimes empathy…and I can be a little self-involved. Perhaps I don’t put enough effort into my friendships and that is what is causing my friend graveyard to overflow.

But then I come to my senses and realize that there have been times that I have let a friendship go for one reason or another, but deservedly so. And the girls who stopped being friends with me, they missed out because I am one hell of a good friend.

I want to know though, why is it so hard to find good friends? The friends who will stick by you through thick and thin and be there for you no matter what? The kind of friends you can tell anything to and they won’t judge you? The friend who will give you good advice when you feel like your life is spinning out of control?

Tell me I’m not alone ladies. Am I the only one who finds it hard to be friends with other girls?

“Everything in moderation” is complete crap.

You know it’s true.

The people that tout this as the key to their successful weight loss/maintenance are full of shit. Either they have impeccably good genes or they starve themselves all day to “indulge” in that margarita or cheesecake for dessert (there are quite a few bloggers guilty of this actually).

I do not have good genes. I also do not have the willpower to have just one bite of dessert or just one cookie out of the box of oreos.

“Just one” of something usually equates to “just one” extra pound of fat for me.

And dammit, I don’t have the fortitude to starve myself. I could never be anorexic. I just like food too much.

Here I am on Day 6 of my Operation Healthy thing (I don’t really have a name for it but I hate the word “diet” as referring to cutting back calories for a specified length of time to achieve weight loss so “thing” will have to do for now) and I am struggling.

I have never had a problem with working out. In fact, I have been known to overtrain in the past. I have worked out 4 times this week with the intention of working out again today.

It’s glorious, delicious, mouth-watering food that is the problem. I have a raging sweet tooth that takes over my entire brain when I need a fix.

Case in point last night. I have absolutely NO sweets in my house…except for some chocolate chips I use for baking. After dinner last night, I could NOT stop thinking about the half bag of chocolate chips sitting in my pantry. After an hour of continuous day dreaming about those chips, I broke down and melted some to eat straight out of a bowl. I didn’t really eat all that much, maybe 1/4 of the bag (it was a smaller bag). Maybe 300 calories worth. Still I was overwhelmed with guilt afterward that I wasn’t strong enough to resist.

Some others would have been able to resist completely. Some would have just had a few chips out of the bag. Moderation is not for me.

I don’t even know what it means to have something in moderation. I am an all-or-nothing kind of girl.

Knowing this, I threw out the rest of the bag, as well as the last sleeve of saltine crackers (another trigger food for me, I can eat a whole 700 calorie sleeve in one sitting easily). At least now they aren’t there to tempt me.

In this healthy endeavor of mine, I have vowed to limit my sugar intake as much as possible, give up alcohol completely (because again, I can’t just stop at one drink, I’m kind of a boozehound), and eliminate as much processed food as possible.

I know I’m still in the first week of trying to eat the way I know I should and it will get easier as time goes on and I will crave sugar and fatty foods less and less. Until then, there will be no having “just one” for me.

Call it disordered eating, call it common sense, call it whatever you want, but the truth is that moderation does not work for everyone, and it does not work for me. If I want to cut back on something, I have to eliminate it completely or only have limited quantities presented to me to be able to keep myself from binging.

Does moderation work for you?

Howdy. So y’all know (btw, does it annoy anyone that I am from the Northeast yet say words that seem southern? Yes? Tough shit) how I posted on Tuesday about my fabulous new gym bag and equally fabulous new gym schedule?

In addition to that I had mentioned how I was eating very healthy. Today is day 4 of my healthy living stint. Yes, I know, I’m sort of a healthy living blogger that gives you plenty examples of how NOT to be healthy. I go through streaks of trying to follow a healthy lifestyle and shake off these extra pounds that I have sitting around my midsection. And ass. And arms. And thighs.

So anyway, as time passes in my healthy living life, the consequences of my decision to go healthy rear their ugly head. I present to you my timeline of a diet for me (remember, today is day 4).

Day One – I am a ROCKSTAR! Look at me munching on carrot sticks and I had such an awesome spin class today. I totally am not missing dessert because I just simply feel so awesome.

Day Two – I have so much energy today, this healthy living thing is really paying off, go me Although, a donut does sound a little tasty…but NO…I will be strong.

Day Three – Did I pack my socks for the gym? Can I workout without socks? No, the blisters would kill me. Ok, if I didn’t pack socks I will have to scrap my workout today. At least I packed my breakfast and lunch for work today. Although a chickpea fritter from the Clover foodtruck would really hit the spot. I should probably email some friends for support. (Note support from friends includes telling me a spoonful of nutella to ease my pain will just go straight to my thighs…thanks Melissa Nibbles). Commence to stick my finger in the jar of nutella just as a coworker walks by. Busted.

Day Four @ 6am – Feeling a little more tired today than usual, I wonder what’s up with that?

Day Four @ 7am – I really want to eat my breakfast bar now eventhough I’m supposed to wait until 8, I’m fucking starving (eyes breakfast bar ravenously).

Day Four @ 7:22 – Give in to the breakfast bar

Day Four @ 7:23 – Breakfast bar has been completely consumed. Coffee would be great right now. God I miss Starbucks. The swirly caramel on my macchiato is the perfect touch…SNAP OUT OF IT. Focus. You can do this.

Day Four @ 8:13 – My 9am apple is looking tasty right about now.

Day Four @ 8:27 – It won’t hurt to eat the apple early. Proceed to chomp away.

Day Four @ 9:02 – God I’m so hungry. I miss food. Carbs, sugar, salt, they were my friends and now they’re gone

Day Four @ 10am – Really want that damn coffee. Put coat on, grab wallet and walk downstairs. Talk myself out of the coffee and come back up. Sit down in my chair and try not to read food blogs or think about anything food related.

Day Four @ 12:15pm – Spin class

Day Four @ 1:15 – Walking back from spin class, there is that damn Clover foodtruck again calling out to me with their chickpea fritter goodness…they are only $5 after all. Do I have $5 on me? Frantically search every single pocket And the bottom of the purse just to make sure. No money. Dammit. I did bring my lunch but I’m going to go drop my stuff back at the office and come back down with that $5.

Day Four @ 1:20 – Trying to talk myself out of that fritter. Success! I eat my ground turkey/brown rice burrito instead. Definitely does not taste as good as the fritter.

Day Four @1:21 – Well, the burrito is gone and I still can’t stop thinking about that fritter. Maybe a diet pepsi would help.

Day Four @ 1:25 – Diet Pepsi doesn’t help, only makes me think I would love to sink my teeth into a nice pumpkin donut from dunkin donuts.

Day Four @ 1:30 – After 5 solid minutes thinking about what donuts taste like, I heat up the soup I brought for lunch and imagine it tastes like fritters…and donuts…and actually just straight sugar. Oh my god, I’m going to DIE if I don’t have sugar soon. Start texting random people about how wonderful sugar is.

It is currently a little after 4. I have managed to stick with my food plan for the day. No donuts, no fritters. But as you can see, my willpower dissolves by the day. We will see what tomorrow brings. Healthy living is HARD y’all.

Yesterday I posted on Twitter asking for gym bag recommendations. I really wasn’t into paying the price for a Lululemon bag so what better place to find information than the internets!

I got a few recommendations (and one for the actual Lululemon bag I was trying to avoid buying).

The reason I need a new gym bag is because on an impulse, I went and upgraded my Boston Sports Club membership so that I can go to any BSC. I did that so I can start going to the gym at lunch. I know, right? How motivated of me. We will see how it actually works out, though I am extremely optimistic.

My hours changed at work, thus making it very difficult to get to the gym near my house in the morning, and let’s be honest, if I wait until after work to get my workout in, it just is NOT going to happen. I lose all motivation at the end of the workday.

Of course this means I will look like more of a hot mess during the day because I am not going to be applying makeup twice and I will have sweaty gross hair in the afternoons, but it’s a small price to pay for health, right?

Anyway, back to the bag. So I committed myself to the noon spin class today, so I needed a gym bag stat, thus eliminating the online purchase option. After attempting to find a reasonably priced bag at Citysports that had all of the features I was looking for, I got frustrated and left. I wanted a short-handle medium size bag with a “wet” pocket and smaller pockets inside the bag. Yes, I give up easily as I gave up after one store and ended up forking over the money for the Lululemon bag. $98 later (plus tax), I had a fancy schmancy gym bag.

It had everything I was looking for and to be honest, I just wanted to get my bag so I could get home to watch Gossip Girl. Priorities, people.

In other news, I have also taken up yoga again. I used to go every week to a studio in Cambridge, but since that studio closed, I had yet to find a studio that I actually liked. (I’m a yoga snob, I will not under any circumstances, take yoga at the gym. Both times I’ve done it it’s the most sorry excuse for yoga that I have ever seen). I finally found a studio near my house that isn’t great, but will do. I am committed to going at least once a week, twice if I am feeling motivated to attend a second class on the weekends.

I have also been on point with my food the last couple of weeks. I have been making my own protein bars for my breakfast and bringing lunch from home at least 4 out of 5 days.

I am on a STREAK y’all! Now let’s hope all this work pays off and I can fit into a bikini come June. I know that’s a long way away and I don’t have THAT much to lose…but the way this healthy living thing usually goes for me, that’s how long it will take me to get my butt into bathing suit shape. At least I’m being honest.

What healthy things have you done lately?